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Entry tags:	history, water

Water
Disclaimer: This post and the previous post are direct quotes from the Toronto Star, so it's their wonderful writings, not mine. As if I ever want to be a journalist. :P

It was an interesting essay by Steven Loranger, but this history bit is seperate from his essay. Let's examine it closely. =) Personally some of these facts are jokes, but whatever!

From The Toronto Star, Sunday July 24, 2005 Section D: Ideas: Something to Lose Sleep Over
Ebb and Flow | A Brief History of Water




82,500 years ago People go fishing in what is today Zaire. The film Gone Fishin', starring Joe Pesci and Danny Glover, appears 82,492 years later.

15,000 years ago The last Ice Age ends. Melting waters flood the planet, arranging the continents and islands in their current formation. The island of Japan appears, making manga inevitable.

8500 BC Oars are used for boating in England, making boater hats inevitable.

7000 BC Ancient Iraqis discover that mixing certain herbs and grain with a bit of sugar in fresh mountain water produces beer.

6999.999 BC Ancient Iraqis discover that drinking lots of water before going to bed can reduce hangovers.

2900 BC The city of Babylon comes into being. By 600 BC, it is a thriving metropolis, and some of the houses have seperate "bath rooms". The plumber comes into existence; prices as steep as six goats per hour for emergency service on the weekend are not unheard of.

2700 BC Tea is first prepared in China, expanding the versatility of water and making the whistling tea kettle inevitable.

800 BC The naval ram is invented, giving rise to the oar powered fleet of Ancient Greece, the first armada. Rome would follow suit. Other great bygone naval powers include England, Spain, and the Newfoundland cod fleet.

1200 AD Water teams up with Air to create sail power. At first, it is a co-operative partnership, and together they accomplish great things, such as bringing French and Italian culture to Canada. But inevitable disputes emerge about which one is more vital: water for floating the boats or wind for powering them. Air starts pushing boats onto rocks to make its point. Water retaliates by working with Fire to creat steam, releasing their results to the world in 1679. The "age of sail" officially ends... But Air gets the last laugh with the advent of air travel, becoming both the medium of transportation and the source for propulsion. Water is reduced to carrying container ships, cruise ships, and pedal boats.

1680 Yet another humiliation for Water: The microscope is invented by Anton van Leeuwenhoek. He discovers that water is full of tiny little floating things, some of which are eventually shown to be diseases.

1911 The first drinking fountain is patented in California. The water cooler is not far behind, followed by the first workplace sexual harassment suit.

1922 Ralph Samuelson, an 18-year old Minnesotan, invents waterskiing. He tests it on squirrels.

1953 The chemist Norm Larsen invents the anti-corrosion product WD-40. It stands for Water Displacement, 40th try, which is how many attempts it took Larsen to perfect his formula.

2025 Fresh water becomes increasingly scarce, thanks to wasteful mismanagement caused by 20,000 years of not selling at its market price. Suddenly water is priced according to its scarcity, becoming the single most expensive commodity on the planet. Water is the new oil.
Meanwhile, Air is blamed for global warming and smog deaths. Its stock plummets. Water is king again.



I'm done. Zzzzz...